Admittedly I can be a jerk sometimes.
For months I have been flying across the country every Monday and Friday. During this time I’ve decided I have a pet peeve that makes everyone around me think I’m a complete tool. What is it? Carry on luggage that a person can’t lift. More specifically, women who can’t lift the giant bag of rocks they packed into the overhead bin and expect me to do it for them. Why am I a jerk here? Because I refuse to do it for them.
I used to do the gentlemanly thing but now I’m just so sick of it that I ignore the whole circus going on around me. I must be one miserable son of a bitch. It’s one thing for an old lady flying to see her Grand-kids needing help. I do lend a hand there, but these 105 lb business travelers that refuse to check there bags can fend for themselves. I check my bag, I fly twice every week, and I deal with it. Screw them. Clogging up the isles with their giant bags, expecting bystanders to do it for them. Piss off! I have figured out how to travel without holding up every other human being around me. I will never understand why they feel the need to carry every God blessed thing then own with them onto the plane! I carry my laptop, and a book or my Zune. That’s it. I will not be needing my extra socks, a new shirt, my shaving kit, running shoes or my hat in mid-flight. Therefore it goes below.
How do I do such an amazing thing. Do I add 30 minutes to my schedule to pick up my bag after the flight? Gasp, such a waste of time! Nope, after a flight I go straight to the car rental counter, get my car, then I pick up my bag. I’m sure this process is no big secret. No time lost and I don’t piss off the rest of the closet carry-on bag haters on my flight.
The formula used to find the maximum size carry-on bag for most airlines is as follows:
Maximum carry-on size = 45 Linear Inches. Or, Length (in inches) + Width (in inches) + Depth (in inches) = 45 Inches
Where the hell are those measuring boxes they used to have at the gates to check the size before borading? If they brought those back I’d be happy once again. But at a minimum, all I ask is that people follow the rule of “If you can’t lift it over your head, check the thing it.”.
20 January 2009 at 3:36 pm
[...] Five day’s later and still no luggage from my Friday flight. This is my Karmic revenge for talking trash about everyone who brings giant bags onto the plane as a “carry-on” item. They get to [...]